We can all have a tendency to be self obsessed. We are constantly on our phones, we text, tweet, snap and post, but do we talk to people IRL? Have we forgotten our manners? What happened to simply being a polite person? I have listed 10 items that are fundamentals of basic human decency. Do you do these things? If not, please start!
1. Please and Thank You
If someone does something for you, thank them for it, and if you need something from someone, say please. Teach your children and pay attention to your own actions. It always annoyed me when I was a kid, and my parents would always say, "what do you say?" when I would ask for something implying that I needed to say
please/thank you, but it worked, at least most of the time. I recently was walking into a convenience store and someone held the door for me. As I turned the corner into the store, I heard that person say, "Your welcome," with a sneer. It was a well deserving sneer. I was a total dick by not acknowledging this person for thinking about me. Take that extra second to look up from your phone and say thank you. Again with these fucking phones!
2. Basic acknowledgement of other human beings
What I mean by this is to say hello and goodbye to people that you encounter throughout your day. To act as though people are invisible is really terrible. You do not have to strike up a conversation with each person you see all day, but if you pass a co-worker in the hall, say hi or when leaving a restaurant, say goodbye to the hostess standing by the door. Do not treat people as though they do not matter to you, and on that note, do not treat others as though you are better than them. It doesn't matter what they look like, the job they have or the car they drive. If you are on the phone, wave. If you are texting, just stop for a moment and acknowledge the real life person in front of you.
3. Tipping
We should all know that you tip your bartender, server and hair stylist, but those are not the only people you should tip. Here are just a few others: tattoo artists, valet, hotel housekeeping, baristas, delivery drivers of any sort, pet groomers, facialists, eyelash experts, hair removal professionals, and nail techs to name a few. Also, if you are at any sort of event where there is an open bar or if you have some sort of buy one get one coupon please remember to tip on the amount the drink/food would have cost at full price. Recommended tipping percentages vary but are usually between 15%-30% depending on the service. If you cannot afford to tip, then you shouldn't get the service.
4. Not helping your fellow person
If you see someone struggling to get an item that is up high, and you are taller than them, grab it for them. If you witness that mother carrying a million packages AND their child, trying to open a door, open it for her. Do not rush to cut in front of people when heading for a line. Do not cut in front of people. Hold the door for anyone.
5. Host gifts
When you are invited to someone's shindig, please remember to bring a gift. If it is a housewarming party, dinner party or most any party a bottle of alcohol should do the trick, but if you want to be more personal check out my blog, The Guide to Being a Great Gift Giver. This rule applies for all events you are invited to such as baby showers, bridal showers, birthday parties, children's birthday parties, anniversary parties, weddings and more. Showing up empty handed is just gross.
6. Children present
Here is the deal. We all know that it is distasteful to smoke, get drunk, do drugs or curse like a sailor around children, so just don't do it. I don't care if the event is "adult only" and your helicopter parent friend brought her daughter. You should still respect the child. The child has not made the decision to attend this party, so don't be the reason for her first word being fuck.
7. Introductions
This is one of those that comes naturally to some and is difficult for others. My husband is terrible at introducing me to people. Therefore, I have learned to introduce myself and attempt to not be pissed off at him because of it. He needs to work on that, but there are two parts to this manner. You should introduce your guests to each other, your significant other to others and two strangers that you know who are meeting. You should also introduce yourself if, unfortunately, the person who should have introduced you fails to do so. Oh, and remember their name! Pay attention. Firm handshakes and eye contact.
8. The Thank You Card
Anytime you are given a gift, you must send a thank you card. I am not a huge fan of unnecessary paper waste, as most of you know by now. This does not mean that you shouldn't send anything. You can send a digital thank you card. You can even explain in your card that you are helping to save the planet by going digital. (Maybe your giftee will follow suit.)
9. Interruption Disruption
Not only are interruptions extremely frustrating, but they are really rude. Most people who interrupt do this because they are either really excited about what they have to say, or they do not want to forget about a thought that just popped into their head. If you are the latter, then utilize your cell phone notes and wait your turn! If you are the first over excited party goer, then you just need to cool your jets. There will be a break in conversation where you can spill, and you will find that your audience might actually listen better and engage with what you are saying since you didn't cut them off or change the subject on them.
10. Excuse Me
This one has been driving me absolutely mad lately. I am not referring to the excuse me you give when you burp, but the excuse me you need to give when you are attempting to get past someone. Let's use the example that I am at the grocery store looking at the vast selection of pouches for my toddler. All of a sudden I feel this chill. It's as though I am being watched. I turn to see another woman with her cart glaring at me as though I was supposed to know that she was there and wanted to get by me. I love that she was so annoyed with my lack of ESP. Just politely say, "Excuse me," next time you need to get past someone and don't stand there expecting them to just know.
I am sure that there are many more etiquette rules that we all break on the daily, but these are some that are so easy and will make your life easier. Also, remember that just because someone else doesn't show you manners that you should not use yours. Do you want to be like those rude jerks or a rad lady who minds her manners like a boss?!