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  • Tattooed Mom Boss

The Slap


It is important to be able to laugh at your mistakes. As a mother, there are so many new opportunities to fumble, stumble and fall. You have to dust yourself off and try again, but sometimes when you fall, you fall into a pile of shit so all you can do is laugh. I definitely took a header into a steaming pile on this occasion.

Let me preface that I think it is important is to give back. Whether you do this through cleaning up your neighborhood, volunteering with a local food shelter or working with a non-profit, everyone needs to do something. I recently started to work with a non-profit here in Baltimore called Believe in Tomorrow. They are a foundation that helps children and their families with housing while they are getting treatment at John Hopkins Hospital. The foundation also has a respite housing program that provides vacation get-aways for children from all over the country. These families have uprooted their entire lives to help save the life of a child in their family, so there are many ways to help a non-profit like this. I could go on and on about how much we need to help this foundation, but that is not the purpose of this blog post.

Anyways. Back to the story. As I was saying, I recently started to work with them and specifically was invited to work on their 2018 Event Planning Committee to help with their 25th Anniversary Gala. I have been having small meetings since November with members of the foundation, but I was over the moon to get an invitation to our kick off meeting for the year! It was a Thursday night, so I would need to get a sitter. No problem!

Except when the sitter gets sick... Well, guess what? I am a mom boss. I can do it all! I will just bring Vincent to the meeting. It won't be that bad. The meeting is only a hour and a half. Right? I packed up his diaper bag with additional goods to help keep him distracted, gave him a bottle for the car and drove to the meeting.

I let the folks from the foundation know that my sitter had to cancel so here I am, ready to volunteer but unfortunately I would have this baby with me for the meeting. No problem! While the other volunteers were showing up Vincent was putting on the show he typically does that involves giggles, smiles and hilarious baby babble. "He is so cute! Oh, look at those curls! What a darling!" Yes. Things are going well. James (our fearless leader) started the meeting which included a participant who could not make it to the meeting so she teleconferenced in so not to miss the meeting. (Maybe I should have thought of that.)

It was almost like Vincent thought that this was the start to his show called Screaming, Shrieking and Fart Noises - a Verbal Orchestra by Vincent Romanowicz. Now, he was not crying or fussing, but he discontinued the cute baby babble and started with the crazy baby blabber. I was a dreamer thinking that a 13 month old could sit through a meeting. At first I could see the other volunteers smile or giggle when he was being verbal, but eventually we started to really get into the logistics. I ended up leaving the room continuously throughout the meeting so that they could get through the topics without the joy of Vincent's concerto of chaos.

Vincent had a blast stumbling around, throwing his shoes, whipping off his socks, and using his super powers. I don't know if I have told you or not, but my son has super powers. He has "adhesive hands" that allow him to grab any and everything around him. He is a magician in the regard that he thinks he can yank a table cloth off a table covered with items and disturb nothing. He can make things disappear, and he has super sonic screams that can shatter anyone's dreams of having peace and quiet.

The kicker.. the real kicker was when I was bouncing my cutie pie and pacing near the door so that I could attempt to overhear the conversations in the room, and Vincent decides to wind up and sock me in the face.

Hard and loud enough to draw the attention of the entire room. Of course, I need to keep my shit together so I don't look like an asshole, and I don't want to discipline him because I barely know these people, so I don't want them to think that I beat my child or something. I just shrank into my motorcycle boots and wished I had just stayed home.

The meeting finally ended. At this point I am sweaty, red faced and exhausted from chasing him throughout the space. I feel that I have completely failed.

My sub-group, the Communication Group, followed up with me about getting together for dinner to go over details about what we can particularly work on for the year. I am tripping over my tongue to apologize to everyone, but they do not seem bothered at all, so maybe I was just feeling like a bother.. Every mom knows that feeling. The guilt. Either way this short meeting felt like an odyssey, so now we are going home.

I put Vincent in the carseat and start the car only to look back and see that baby sound asleep. (If only you could see my face as I tell you this.) He slept the entire ride home. Couldn't he have napped during the fucking meeting! Either way, I learned a lesson this past week. I can do everything, but I need help. Next time, I will either ask to teleconference in, reschedule or bring a muzzle (just kidding! kind of...)

Thanks for reading and please check out this foundation and make a contribution.

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